Need Help Finding Joy in the Midst of Brokenness?

As I stand here in the driveway of what used to be the house next door, I feel a sense of heartache and bittersweet joy. I walk out to this space every single day and uncover small tokens from the lives of the people who have come and gone from this land before me. Two years ago, my dear friend lost her 150 year old home to a fire. It cost her everything. At 85 years old, the life that she had lived for so many years was suddenly snuffed out by a faulty microwave wire.

My husband pulled into our driveway, which was directly next to hers, and saw her coming out of the back of the house. “The house is on fire! The house is on fire!” By the time I got home, the street was lined with firetrucks, news crews and hundreds of onlookers. Pat and I sat on the neighbors porch. The air was filled with smoke and it was hard to breathe. Together, we watched her house burn to the ground. I held her hand as tears rolled down her cheeks.

One by one, the 150 year old stained glass windows blew out from the heat of the fire. The house was filled with  family antiques that were passed down from her parents. Colorful red, white and orange sheers that she had acquired on a trip to India as a young college student were now blowing in and out of the space where a window had once been. This was a bedroom she had lovingly named, “The India Room”. This particular room had great sentimental value to her, as it held many treasures from her youth.

 

Two years later, I found a shredded piece of wallpaper that had  once lined the walls of her dining room. My heart hurt, as it does each time I find new pieces of what used to be. The land is slowly and steadily giving up her secrets.

 

I pick up glass, marbles, ceramic pieces and other odds and ends.

More glass…and pages from an old cookbook.

A small remnant of blue from the stained glass windows in the parlor room. These bits and pieces are remnants of memories of a well-lived, well-loved home. They are remnants of someone’s life.

I am a gardener. God knew that when others could see only tragedy, I could see roses. Pat loved roses. While I am digging and planting, I do it in honor of a beloved friend whose heart was broken in this spot. Covering up the ashes, digging them into the ground as a fertilizer, I sow seeds of joy. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:11 There is joy in creating something beautiful from ashes. God does it everyday.  He is the Master gardener. It was tragic that my friend lost her home, but she is alive. God brought her out of the fire and gave her a soft landing-place with friends to hold her hand and His provision.

Perhaps you have some ashes in your life? Things that have not turned out the way you planned–seeds you have sown have not flourished…

God grows us in affliction. He tears down walls that might distract us from knowing who He is. He tears down walls that keep us at a distance from His Spirit. There will be pain. There will be suffering, but we are still victorious.

How can it be?

“Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

Because God is faithful. He will make beauty from ashes. He will turn your deepest heartache into a thing of beauty.

“Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic…For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

He will never fail you. He will never abandon you.

 

The Lord is our shepherd.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:1-3

“Joy is the keynote of the Christian life. It is not something that happens. It is a gift, given to us in the coming of Christ.” Elizabeth Elliot

Jesus is the Master Gardener and He alone helps us find joy in our brokenness. It is His gift to us, freely given.